It's the holiday season

So I finally finished shopping and wrapping presents.
I've recently been brought to this conclusion:
The story of Jesus and Mary, while a really great story, really isn't that far from a fairy tale. So... yeah, I know it's blasphemous, but we all know I'm secretly a Buddhist trapped in a Catholic's body.
On another note, as I get older, I find myself more and more conflicted by the holidays. First, it's commercial. You can say Jesus is the Reason and all of those other catchy sayings but let's get real: if some prophet was really the reason for all of this broo ha ha, wrapping paper would have mangers on it and the Bible section at Barnes and Noble would be wiped out.
I find the story of Santa far more joyous to be perfectly honest...
but here is what does bother me...
As each school year ticks by, I find it harder and harder to find joy in this season when I have so many kids that need so much. I feel guilty...every time...every time...I go to Target and drop 50 bucks I think..."What would (insert child's name here)'s family do with this money?" So at the holidays, it's particularly difficult.
I am so lucky that despite these financial times I have family that has supported my students. Today, mom bought one of my kids a coat and Christmas presents. Tia and Meemaw have bought clothes and other knick knacks. If anything, not only do my kids know they are loved by me, but they know my family loves them too. For 6 hours they are loved and as care free as they can be. I try to remind myself of that.
You can't save them all, but you can't stop your heart from feeling.
Playlist:
Mary's Boy Child- Harry Connick Jr. (I know, I know...sorta contradictory of what I said but I do love the Christmas music)
Got Til It's Gone- Janet Jackson ft. Q-Tip
Miss Independent- Ne-Yo
Baby, I Don't Cry Over You- Billie Holiday
God Only Knows-The Beach Boys